| 5/7/97 | 2/19/98 | |
| rogue armpit | 0 | 1 |
| holistic butterflies | 0 | 1 |
| rum bucket | 2 | 4 |
| ampersand | 20,682 | 53,682 |
| LSD headache | 0 | 1 |
| sexy headache | 0 | 1 |
| sexy side | 91 | 225 |
| sexy sidedish | 0 | 2 |
| I'm tired | 251,357 | 583,642 |
| I'm tired of insects | 1 | 4 |
| I'm tired of ants | 1 | 5 |
| I'm tired of bread | 1 | 17 |
| I'm tired of sex | 201 | 421 |
| I'm tired of TV | 40 | 110 |
| I'm tired of food | 25 | 40 |
| I'm tired of the big | 189 | 381 |
| I'm tired of the little | 474 | 967 |
| I'm tired of gay sex | 0 | 1 |
| I'm tired of straight sex | 0 | 1 |
| I'm tired of straight people | 10 | 3 |
| I'm tired of gays | 0 | 3 |
| I'm tired of straights | 0 | 1 |
| I'm sick of gays | 19 | 27 |
| I'm sick of gay people | 16 | 1 |
| I'm sick of fags | 0 | 1 |
| I'm sick of my mom | 57 | 138 |
| I'm sick of my dad | 24 | 74 |
| I'm sick of my dog | 504 | 1233 |
| I'm sick of my cat | 80 | 272 |
| I love my cat | 478 | 1119 |
| I love my dog | 1654 | 2225 |
| I love Jesus | 3139 | 6139 |
| I love Satan | 289 | 495 |
| I love Bill Gates | 29 | 42 |
| I hate Bill Gates | 129 | 294 |
| I love women | 1,439 | 12,120 |
| I love men | 1,208 | 2,893 |
| I hate men | 697 | 1,387 |
| I hate women | 563 | 1,185 |
| I think I'm smart | 1,024 | 2,361 |
| I think I'm dumb | 704 | 1.553 |
| I think I'm stupid | 2,499 | 4,881 |
| I think I'm an idiot | 344 | 796 |
| I think I'm a genius | 289 | 617 |
| I love kurt cobain | 42 | 72 |
| I love liz phair | 22 | 34 |
| I love ll cool j | 42 | 76 |
| I love frank sinatra | 35 | 76 |
| I love lucille ball | 17 | 19 |
| I love masturbating | 15 | 120 |
| I want to quit smoking | 362 | 647 |
| I can't quit smoking | 8509 | 18,259 |
| I'll never do you no harm | 40 | 103 |
| when they let me out of jail | 118 | 358 |
| please don't read this page | 19340 | 8 |
| vandalism is fun | 4 | 10 |
| crime is fun | 24 | 60 |
| e-mail me | 1,148,088 | 18,955,845 |
| don't e-mail me | 2,693,416 | 10,923 |
| I have eaten shit | 69 | 115 |
| I have eaten human flesh | 8 | 45 |
| I have eaten rotten | 4 | 11 |
| I have an ingrown toenail | 284 | 626 |
| I have an in grown toenail | 11 | 17 |
| I have an ingrown toe nail | 36 | 59 |
| I have an in grown toe nail | 2 | 12 |
| I have halitosis | 1,556 | 3.096 |
| I have bad halitosis | 6 | 11 |
| I have evil thoughts | 2,555 | 4,271 |
| I saw bigfoot once | 1 | 2 |
| the virgin mary came to me | 20 | 44 |
| god sent me a sign | 1 | 3 |
| god told me | 2,309 | 6,275 |
| I'm an athiest | 839 | 1,841 |
| I'm a Christian | 792,823 | 1,577,115 |
| I hate my wife | 67 | 125 |
| I hate my husband | 39 | 70 |
| I want to be rich | 1,213 | 2,698 |
| you're stupid | 203,324 | 489,594 |
| you're smart | 378,902 | 904,717 |
| I love Larry | 146 | 388 |
| I love Matilde | 3 | 2 |
| I love marijuana | 58 | 119 |
| I love getting drunk | 15 | 17 |
| My friends hate me | 118 | 298 |
| I hate my friends | 258 | 482 |
| I hat my friends | 17 | 33 |
| My head is too big | 124 | 243 |
| My head is to big | 1687 | 3769 |
| My head is too small | 2020 | 12 |
| My head is to small | 2020 | 4164 |
| I'm a nymphomaniac | 2486 | 21,239 |
| I'm really a man | 1955 | 3,912 |
| I like my nose | 202,207 | 464,193 |
| I like to pick my nose | 1305 | 2,627 |
| I love my nose | 96 | 234 |
| I hate my nose | 8 | 10 |
| I miss my nose | 11 | 34 |
| Jesus's ass | 9 | 13 |
| Pamela Anderson's ass | 10 | 55 |
| Mohammed's ass | 4 | 4 |
| lawyers aren't so bad | 11 | 12 |
| Nazis aren't so bad | 1 | 4 |
| lesbians aren't so bad | 0 | 1 |
| my wife took me | 906 | 2775 |
| my husband took me | 561 | 1792 |
| aliens took me | 122 | 458 |
| food in my mouth | 839 | 2740 |
| dick in my mouth | 1192 | 3217 |
| Jesus rules | 131 | 687 |
| Bill Clinton rules | 7 | 14 |
| Bon Jovi rules | 8 | 16 |
| urinary tractor | 1 | 2 |
| Hitler's of golf | 1 | 3 |
| teenage rumpot | 1 | 5 |
| Jesus is God | 7134 | 14,616 |
| Jesus is Lord | 7611 | 14,997 |
| Jesus is running in the Kentucky Derby | 0 | 1 |
| Death to the Weird | 54 | 93 |
| Tits on a boar | 24 | 57 |
| Pictures too high | 574 | 9 |
| Black is beautiful | 911 | 1,930 |
| White is beautiful | 459 | 1,077 |
| I hate Wallpaper | 0 | 2 |
| I love wallpaper | 4 | 10 |
| Brown | 1,121,708 | 2,496,763 |
| Friends of God | 8 | 2254 |
| Friends of Grouper | 1 | 4 |
| Friends of Halibut | 0 | 1 |
| Captain Chemo | 1 | 18 |
| I have bladder | 38,275 | 80,563 |
| gilding the lily | 170 | 333 |
| gilding the wandering jew | 0 | 1 |
| free the wilmington 10 | 6284 | 162694 |
| free the Greensboro 3 | 3062 | 128,374 |
| free the Indianapolis 500 | 342 | 11801 |
| Eat cud | 0 | 1 |
| get off that dog | 666 | 1457 |
| ego is my middle name | 8 | 1 |
| rub me with that sandpaper | 12 | 30 |
| I want to hurt people | 3743 | 129 |
| I want to hit people | 2160 | 19 |
| I want to kick people | 988 | 5 |
| I want to punch people | 233 | 8 |
| I want to bite people | 311 | 3 |
| I want to spit on people | 104 | 1 |
| I want to kill people | 5218 | 120 |
| I want to maim people | 16 | 1 |
| I want to shoot people | 1442 | 13 |
| I want to stab people | 69 | 2 |
| I want to burn people | 669 | 5 |
| I want to boil people | 124 | 1 |
| I want to skewer people | 3 | 1 |
| I want to filet people | 3 | 1 |
| I want to disembowel people | 2 | 1 |
| I want to eat people | 4755 | 10 |
| I want to convert people | 3286 | 13 |
| I have locusts | 6122 | 11317 |
| give me a locust | 1 | 2 |
| eat the locust | 91 | 154 |
| If I were a locust | 3 | 47748 |
| cattle frighten me | 0 | 2 |
| cattle time | 1,138,293 | 13 |
| long live cattle | 0 | 1 |
| cattle becomes you | 19 | 30 |
| you drive like cattle | 135 | 291 |
| love thy cattle | 0 | 1 |
| cattle for Governor | 5 | 10 |
| pass the salt | 393 | 833 |
| pass the pepper | 56 | 119 |
| pass the ketchup | 74 | 164 |
| pass the mustard | 38 | 82 |
| pass the directions | 43 | 73 |
| pass the small intestine | 0 | 2 |
| my stomach hurts | 263 | 554 |
| my kidney hurts | 2 | 6 |
| my pancreas | 19,721 | 40,021 |
| my urethra | 5658 | 12,404 |
| my colon | 102,674 | 255,913 |
| my esophagus | 9917 | 21,107 |
| my blow hole | 440 | 1,822 |
| my pop culture hole | 0 | 1 |
| my aorta | 9406 | 18,513 |
| my septic liver | 2 | 5 |
| my renal gland | 11 | 14 |
| my gut buster | 28 | 344 |
| my lily liver | 54 | 1 |
| my right testicle | 442 | 966 |
| my left testicle | 547 | 1090 |
| my ball satchel | 1 | 4 |
| my Union 76 card | 0 | 2 |
| my dog's bowels | 1 | 8 |
| my cat's bowels | 0 | 1 |
| my sacred lung spot | 0 | 1 |
| my chitty chitty bang bang | 654 | 1320 |